ok
so this is my next rant and stress release
XD

to begin
there are 5 guys i like
and 4 that i think are hot but i don't really KNOW them
one- his name is john. he has completely VANISHED from my life. and i hate it! i have a post in here elsewhere all about him.
two- his name is jared. i've liked him for four fucking years! AND HE'S STILL CLUELESS! everyone else has figured it out by now. they figured it out a month after i did. he's comepletly amazing. hes halarious and fun and kind and caring and ...he can be serious when he wants to be. and he can cook!
three- his name is michael. he's amazing. hes my best friends brother. and he is dating my other best friend. i've like him for 2-3 years. sad. i know.
four- jordan. he's amazing. he's always there for me and puts up with my idiocy and everything! and he's always so nice to me. downsides. he's clueless. and he's a senior, i'm a sophmore. =[
five- Brian. is 19. i'm 16. ALMOST. he joined the army. he also dated my older sister. sad && pathetic

others:
chase: he like...just acknowledged my existance a week ago
cody: he's taken. go figure
James & Eric: are hot. end of story. i met em on a field trip, but fuck were they hot
 
next subject:
my dad got all pissed off cause i have a penpal
and didn't tell him
so i am currently giving him the silent treatment
and he was ranting and being a homophobe earlier too! >[
*bang*
HALLELUJAH
Lock && Load
oh
and
i think he found out i'm bi
and yeah
he's been a real dick lately
it makes me want to smack him
BITCH SLAP TIME!

"Hell Hath NO Fury like a woman scorned."

So yeah
I think i like my best friend in this mess too
she's cool
but there's no way in hell im gonna tell her
she's 100% straight
:S
eep
=[

-huggles class ring-
I cant wear my ring
i'm retaining water
=[
-sigh-
i have to get my heart checked soon
and my cholesterol, sugar, thyroid, among other things
Also, they have to up my sleeping medicine.
=[

DUDE!
MY STORY HAS FINALLY DEVELOPED SOME PLOT!

Anywhoo
I got a new cell phone. It's amazing. I love it.

Ane is amazing.
everyone should love her!
She gives amazing advice!
ILY ANE-CHA!!!!!!!!!!
<3

my dad is currently trying to buy my forgiveness by buying me pizza.
fuck him.
no.
i shall not forgive him
!
he told me i could have any of my friends over to help decorate the christmas tree, which i don't even know why we put it up, i'll be at my moms on christmas like always while he spends it with his girlfriend and tries to think of new ways to get rid of me. anyways
i asked jared
and he was allowed
and was going to
but dad went and fucking said no
so i spent my last friday before christmas alone. again.
oh well
i got a lot of texts
sarah, sarah, brittany, jared, jimmy, and jake all text me. thank god for them. jakes pretty amazing. he's like my little brother. ^^ ya jus gotta love him.

anywho
my dads sending me on this christian emmaus walk for teenage girls
i want to go just so i can learn what christianity is basically.
i'm not going to say i'm gonna be a christian, or any less of a thiestic. hell i may walk out athiest or scientologist or agnostic or maybe i'll be shinto again.
fuck how am i supposed to read the future.

so
i went to www.phonezoo.com and made a bunch of ringtones and got a bunch of pics for my phone. its free all you phone people should check it out. it's so much easier than buying shit. trust me i'd know!

My family thinks i have heart problems. hence the reason why i gotta go get my heart checked. :S

Anywho
i passed out like 30-50 christmas presents today, not including my family -eep!-
normally my family doesn't celebrate x-mas
but i gues this year we are
...my dad is gonna be an ass like always
but
my brother and sisters got my something and so did my grandparents and my mom.
so she says
and i believe her
she actually tells me the truth
and doesnt lie about everything and put me down like my dad does

a bunch of teachers gave us cookies today
it made me happy
cookies are the shit y0!

so
i have officially realized
im amazing at english and literature
i can read shakespeare
and old english
and i can quote dead people!
like blaise pascal!
AND UNDERSTAND IT!
It makes me feel smart
cause my sister, brother, nor mother can do that.
i have always been great at literature and reading

speaking of
i read a book called Doppleganger
it's amazing!
its by David Stuhler or somehting like that
everyone should read it
it's a really good book!
gabriel is my favorite character
^_^

me and jake sat in study hall and discused heavy metal and mudvayne
and how much we love them and hammerfall
and helloween even!
it was great
music is so my life!

We watched A Beautiful Mind in psychology. i think it's a sad movie. but REALLY  good! EVERYONE GO WATCH IT!

and in civics we watched The Manchurian Candidate.
it's also a great movie
the one with denzel washington in it
aka the new one
not the old black and white one
ya'll should watch it

Blood diamond && constantine are on my x-mas list,
as is an i-pod
and a new digital camera cause mine, after three grueling years, has officially died. the screen BUSTED and i dunno HOW!

i'm gonna rent 13 days in october
its a good movie too
im a history guru
i love to learn history
"He who does not learn from history shall repeat history."

fanfiction is amazing!
i am currently in the fandoms of death note, bleach, naruto, 666satan, and soooooooooo much more!

Misa misa is stupid but adorable! i just want to hug her!!!!!
and Raito-sama
HE'S SO AMAZING!
HE IS GOD!
BOW TO HIM!

L. Lawliet is cool too
kinda retarded at times but hey, who cares.

So what are your favorite fandoms and pairings??????
i implore your knowledge!!!!!!

-cracks knuckles-
oh
ow
glass shard
i have glass in my knuckles
and graphite in my wrist and they cant take it out because its wayyyy too close to a main vein
its been in there since i was 5
thats almost 11 years
i think its fine there
XD
anywhoo
i have realized, with Nana-chans help
that i am a klutz
i break bones 
and bruise them
and sprain them
and hell
displace them even
far too often
i am reckless.

K-chan is mia!!!!!
-tear-
she hasn't been on!!
neither has Mir-chan!!!!!!!
=[
DDB-sama hasn't either
i think they all died on me!
-runs into emo corner and cries-
=[
no ofense people
(frankly i think calling my room the emo corner is a joke cause it is here but, just to clarify, i HATE stereotypes, dont even get me started on them!)

I got a bunch of new clothes!
they ish pretty!
i need to get some new black eye shadow
i AM still considered goth 
and for a good reason
i can stand stereotypes ONLY if its used to describe clothing and dress.
like...
i can stand someone saying your punk and a rebel if you are anarchist and all that
but if someone says your emo and cut yourself.
that FUCKING PISSES ME THE MOTHER-FUCKING GODDAMNED FUCKING BITCH FILLED HELL OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ONLY CUNTS WOULD SAY THAT GOD-MOTHER-FUCKING-DAMNIT! Ok. I think im good.

XD
now that THATS out of my system.

Oink
Im a rooster
...
inside joke between me and one of my besties

so bitchy and her gang have been annoying as fuck
i wish i could just punch them
alas,
i cannot!
=[

so...
one of my friends called me annoying and intolerable and a bitch and shit
so i refuse to speak to her
JUST BECAUSE I MADE A SMART ASS REMARK ABOUT FOOD >[
at least im not the one who said she was fucking bulimic
though she probably is!

Kennan and i should jus take over the world and force fead bulimics. >]

anywhooooo
i watched Die Hard
that movie is amazing!
 i loveeeeee it!

i got this really cute necklace for free with my class ring it made me happy as hell! ^_^

so i THOUGHT i broke my caffine addiction
ha
as if
no way
still hooked
i can still drink three XXX monsters in an hour
and be fine
^^
w00t
go me!

ima take spanish 3 next year
our school actually got a teacher who knows her shit!!!!!!!
w00t!
i wish our school taught latin
i was looking through what little latin i do know
and realized
for a dead language
we use it a fucking hell of a lot!
half our words are based from latin words OR ARE latin words!!!!!
post mortem is latin
i didn't know that til recently.
theres a LOT of stuff that we use and say every-fucking-day that is latin!
its weird
so much for a DEAD language.
i love latin though
i think it's a beautiful language
fuck french

i love japanese too
but alas
it is veryyyyyyyyyy hard to find anyone who knows any japanese around here let alone someone to teach it to me!

I gonna learn to skate and box and kickbox and do yoga and skateboard too
i am very determined to learn this shit
and how to play a guitar!!!!!

-hides-
-pops out from behind desk-
MAHHH!
^_^
meep!
IM HYPER!
or slaphappy
one of the two
^^
or maybe i'm just crazy
....
nahhh
i've been crazy
XD
^^
hehe

i think al capone is amazing.
weird
i know
we were learning about him in history
and the st. valentines day massacre
i think its amazing he got away with all that
and was only sentenced for TAX EVASION
poor pathetic government
they couldnt get evidence against capone-sama for the other crimes
he was ingenius!!!!!!
yeah
my dad thinks im a freak for that

dude
my history teacher keeps teasing me about liking michigan, newark catholic, and northridge.
well
it aint MY fault our school sucks balls
-_-''
i mean really
if we won like...at least 5 football games or something then id at least say were ok
but damn
we suck
dont get me wrong
i love my school
just not the teams
GO GREENWAVE!
GO VIKINGS!
GO BLUE!
GO WOLVERINES!
FUCK YOU UTICA FOOTBALL!
GO UTICA MARCHING BAND!
see
i support our band
everyone does
our band is amazing
theyre SERIOUSLY the only reason uticans COME to our football games
-_-
its slightly pathetic ya know

ok
honestly
my fingers are getting tired
so ima go!
<3
Alea iacta est, memento mori*
The die is cast, remember you are mortal*
(latin^^)

--Ebony Evans*
leave me some love!<3

ok so i was sitting on my couch watching dane cook then final destination three comes on
and i started thinking!
NEVER a good sign!
[it's gotta be the apocalypse]
so i was sitting there
FUCKING ANALYZING THE DAMN ACCIDENT!
-defeated sigh-
i realized this
if franky's fucking camera hadn't fallen the shoulder lock things wouldn't have broke
and  the wheels wouldn't have gotten fucked up and broke either
so then they wouldn't have lost have the coaster
and bent the coaster
or fallen backwards
and hit that bar
and died
so fuck franky
he caused all this
him and his stupid camera
fuck you franky

plus
have you ever noticed that SEVEN people get away from the accident in each?
and in the first one
ONE PERSON SURVIVES
in the second
TWO PEOPLE SURVIVE
and in the third
THREE PEOPLE SURVIVE!
1,2,3
coincidence?
I THINK NOT!
XD
i over think things
anywho
if there's a fourth, fith, sixth, and seventh, cough cough
it will be the same i bet
-_-;;


anywhoooo;;;;
skillet is as of now my whole fucking life
aside from t.A.T.u.
and Dane Cook-sama
cause ya know;
DANE COOK IS GOD!!!!
HOT
SEXY
AND HALARIOUS!!!!!!!!

he's almost as amazing as criss angel
w00t
he's fucking sexy
i'd bang em ;)

anywhoo
Kris Lemche is my hero
he's amazing in Final Destination 3
fuck
i must have a thing for guys with the name Kris

fuck
that or goth guys
or skaters
or blah
any guy i like
is normally....
goth/punk/skater/or emo
and they normally have black hair
black hair turns me on ^_^
;)
haha

ok
so
the back-stabbing bitches definately haven't talked to me
they won't even come near me
i just glare at them everyday
^_^
it's entertaining
:D
bitches
and everyone at school for the most part have forgotten about it
me and my friends make jokes about it all the time now
and me && kennen are plotting to take over the world
I GET JAPAN ^_^
and i getta be on his torture squad
the "Department of Care"
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
he's gonna wear a rainbow pinstripe suit
lmfao

ahh
so my dad is a freaking idiot
he supports america being in Iraq
we're gonna fucking cause armaggedeon
a.k.a. fucking world war 3
if we don't start minding our own goddamn business
every man for themselves
and survival of the fucking fittest much?
jesus
we just have to go and FORCE FUCKING "DEMOCRACY" DOWN EVERYONE'S THROATS!
LET'S DO IT! CAUSE WE'RE AMERICA!!!!!!!!
-_-;;;
fuck you america
you fucking bunch of goddamn idiots!!!!!!!!
i declare you all fucking retarded
cause ya'll aint COOL ENOUGH TO BE GAY!!!!!!!
>[
-rants-

-sigh-
ok
now that THAT'S out of my system
-sigh-
so my best friend
and my crush
are dating
-sob-
i'm so fucking jealous
all of my best friends have boyfriends
and my best friend and i almost always end up liking the same person
-sigh-
it's fucking depressing
and i'm too much of an idiot to try && snag em first
-sigh-
she's so much prettier than me too
IT FUCKING SUCKS!

on a different note
i am obsessed with manga and books
i use to read only books
then i started reading only shonen jump
then only naruto
and then i quit watching tv
and now
i read bleach; naruto; 666Satan; Beyond My Touch; Gohou Dorragu; DragonBall && Dragon Ball z;; Yu-Gi-Oh!; Yu-Gi-Oh! GX; and sooooooooooooooooo much more
and i watch movies!!!!!!
=O
like MOVIES
and i started watching Law And Order
and charmed
and a few other things
-sigh-

so i'm FINALLY getting a new cell phone!
AFTER THREE YEARS!
mine is so useless now
the screen is breaking
and my camera sucks ass
i mean c'mon
how many digital camera's break in a year?
-sigh-
WHEN YOUR CAREFUL WITH EM TOO?!
it's fucking RETARDED!!!!!!!

MEEPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!
so bOREDDD

so yeahh
went to the grocery today
bought half the fucking store
lets see
-names off random products purchased-
my favorite thing
GRAPE JUICEEEE
bought like 3 gallons of it
^_^
:D

so i counted all the medicines i take
13 
THIR-FUCKING-TEEN!
JESUS ALMIGHTY LORD OF HEAVEN
SON OF FUCKING SATAN!!!!
AND IM ONLY 15!!!!!!! 
and a half!
-grins-
:D
i almost take the same amount of pills as the number of my age in years!!!!!!!
how fucking PATHETIC
-______-''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
-sigh-
if ANYONE out there takes as many or more PLEASE LET ME KNOW I AIN'T ALONE!
i feel like a fucking pill-pusher!!!!!!
-_______-

so
my friend fucking let it slip to her mom
that i'm bi
and her mom
is 
well
white power!
-_-
fuck ya white power
neo-nazis
-_-
she hates gays
and bis
and black people
and asians
how rude ne?
i was fucking pissed
and now her boyfriend did something to piss her off and she says she aint gonna fucking eat anymore
so i told her off
and told that when she got her mother-FUCKING brain back to come talk to me
she hasn't yet

gah!
gr!
bah!
meep!
ack!
ughh
my dads calling me out to watch a movie
i bet its retarded
-walks out to see what movie-
-returns-
damn
am i good
its a parody of scrooge
i have NOTHING against the original scrooge movie
but agh
that parody is so STUPID! 

so
i 
FINALLY
made my gma and mom and brother an x-mas list
i was forced to
under the threat of no more music!!!!!
-sob-
just the thought of it!!!!!!!!
SO HORRIFYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-dies-

christmas is so ...hectic
i HATE it 
everybody RUSHES out to BUY presents!
its so stupid
my family fucking ended up fighting over it every year
until my brother said fuck it and never came around anymore
and my gma's both got sick
and my gpa got cancer
and my dad got a mistress && ABONDONED us
and my mom started crying and got even WORSE heart problems
which i think she passed on to me -_-

-sigh-
i thought x-mas was a time for family?
-tear-

-sigh-
i've decided
the word family
means nothing
blood relations through dna
blood is thicker than water
but blood eventually runs dry
water evaporates and then comes back through percipitation
water is always there
blood
it leaves
and you die
and well
fuck your screwed aintcha

someone told me
Life's a book
and each day is a blank page you fill in
i said
fuck that
that aint true
if life was a book 
and i was the author
my life wouldn't be so goddamn fucked up
idiots
life is a book
sure
but i aint the fucking author
fuck
i aint got no idea who the author is
maybe edgar allen poe
love him
he writes macrabe

-starts singing-
Whispers
I hear your
poison
lost inside you
i'm not free of you
break my bonds again
-stops-
i heart that song

yeah so my dads a fucking ass
i'm about to SUFFOCATE
MY HOUSE IS FUCKING 90 DEGREES [farienheit]
and I CANNOT STAND HEAT
EVEN MY DOCTORS TOLD HIM THAT!!!!!
i am VERY sensitive to temperatures
especially heat
it makes my skin basically boil
i cant tan
i cant get sun burn
but damn
if i'm in heat
i'll fucking tear my damn skin off it hurts so bad
-_-
and cold
well
i can stand outside in negative temperatures in snow
and shorts and a tee-shirt
barefoot
and be HOT
-_-
its sad and pathetic
but if i touch ice
it burns me
its fucking weird
-sigh-
im just abnormal what can i say
anywhooo
my dad made me fucking turn my goddamn fan off
-fumes-

kitty died
=[
actually she died a while ago
a couple weeks probably
but i'm forcing my dad to buy me a new cat cause i miss her so much
=[
damn cars
they'll fucking stop for ducks
and dogs
BUT NOT CATS?!
heres my question drivers
WHAT THE FUCK?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????!?!?!?!?!???????!?!?!?!?!?!?!?1
GR
just grrrrrrrrr

omg
i hate my dad
may i disown myself?

i've decided
that
the DAY
THE VERY FUCKING DAY
i turn 18
I AM LEAVING THIS GOD FORSAKIN VILLAGE
fuck utica
AND EVERYONE IN IT!!!!!!!!
I HATE THEM ALL!
caps lock does not do justice to how much i hate them
>[

grrrrrrrrrr

well
gotta go
the anti-christ's takin me to church in the morning
the fucking fake
>[
gr
he can jus GO.. TO. HELLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>[

Ebony out! <3
leave me some love kay? <3